Friday, July 3, 2015

How Women Are Bringing Sports Back To The Way It Should Be

I had this long piece discussing some of the issues facing women in a lot of the things I love - gaming, movies, comics, and sports - but then I was watching the Women's World Cup and then this happened. The response of fans has been largely supportive and empathetic, so while I felt horrible for poor English defender Laura Bassett, I did love that the fans actually acted like fans. It's a strange notion, I know, and for all of the sexist thoughts that go against the women, there is at least one that is kind of positive.

See, there's a good probability that if Bassett were a man playing on England's team, and had he lost a World Cup semifinal on that sort of horrible luck, he would have been subjected to extremely mean-spirited headlines. Twitter would probably be filled more with anger (and death threats). Fans would be raging. You don't have to dig too deep to find this sort of reaction. Bill Buckner, anyone? In the world of men's sports, mistakes are often responded to with irrational and almost inhuman behavior. Yet when it's the women? It's followed by support and empathy.

The reality is, we tend to be a lot harsher towards male athletes who make mistakes than toward the female athletes in the same position. And it's hard not to see that as a little bit sexist, both toward men and women. I'm not quite sure where it comes from. Maybe it's that old idea that women are more emotional, and thus more mentally fragile than men and so we need to treat them almost like children in order to protect them. Or perhaps fans recognize that unlike the men, they're not just playing for their club or country.

In the Men's World Cup, all of the athletes are merely "athletes." They aren't seen as ambassadors for their sport in the same way. They aren't trying to sell the world on soccer. With the exception of the United States, the world has pretty much already bought soccer - hook, line, and sinker. When Neymar steps onto the pitch, he is really only representing Brazil. When Marta steps on though, she represents Brazil...and women...and women's athletics as a whole. Female athletes have an uphill battle everywhere. They've been often ridiculed and demeaned. They often struggle to keep leagues active because a large portion of the public doesn't care about women's sports. There's always the bump for women's soccer during the World Cup, but they're always playing for more than just a title.

They're playing to win. They're playing for respect. They're playing to prove a point. They're playing to inspire. And they're playing to survive, basically.

Male athletes have a privilege that often gets ignored. The truly hard work has already been done for them. To be clear, this is not to suggest making it to the NBA or NFL or Major Leagues is easy. It can certainly be argued that it's never been more difficult to make the pro-level. However, at the end of the day, they have the benefit of only needing to think about the game. With the exception of maybe the NHL and MLS, the major sports leagues don't need to worry about "growing the game," or "being taken seriously." Peyton Manning is a superstar in the NFL, but let's be honest: the NFL can and will survive when he's out of the game. In fact, despite all that has gone on in the past year, the NFL is more popular than ever! The league is self-sustaining. The best players don't really grow the sport anymore. They might push sales of jerseys or Reebok deals, but the major leagues have a strong foothold in our society.

Yet there is a bit of concern when the likes of Mia Hamm retire (or the upcoming Abby Wambach retirement, although I think they're in better shape this time around with the advent of other stars stepping up). Female athletes are widely not as popular as their male counterparts. Sure, people can probably pick out Hope Solo or Alex Morgan from a line up, but what about Brittney Griner or Elena Delle Donne, or even the likes of Kelley O'Hara or Shinobu Ohno, who we've seen in this very World Cup?

Maybe the real reason people are kinder and more empathetic when women athletes make mistakes or come up short is that the women's game reminds us what sports is really about. The men's game is often too serious for its own good. All that matters is winning (something that matters to all athletes, but generally, the men don't have the pressure of the entire public losing interest if they don't win). Mix in all of the fantasy sports and the money that ties into that, plus all the gambling that happens, you get fans who feel they have more personally on the line. When a male athlete screws up and costs his team the game, "fans" are primed to be unreasonably hostile.

Basically, they lose sight of the human element to sports.

If there's one edge that women's sports clearly have over men's, it's that the fans rarely seem to lose sight of that. Because the leagues are so much smaller and they're trying to grow the league, the athletes are much more accessible. For example, the Boston Breakers have "autograph ally" after the games, where fans can meet the players, shake their hands, and get an autograph. This is part of the charm for baseball fans, who have the chance to get autographs before the games during batting practice. You don't see this sort of thing in the NBA and certainly not the NFL. While organizations will sometimes have events giving fans the chance to meet their favorite players, they're ultimately few and far between.

The end result is more relatable players in the women's game. This further pushes the human element. Sure, guys like Rob Gronkowski are goofy and fun to watch, and people can gravitate toward Peyton Manning's sense of humor, but by and large, male athletes seem - in a sense - larger than life. As a Patriots fan, I can't even hope to ever meet Tom Brady. I can't even begin to relate to him. Yet whenever Julian Edelman posts a YouTube video, I become a bigger fan, probably because you get a weird insight into him as a person. Sure, there's still zero chance I'll ever get to meet him for even a second, but it feels like I know him as a human being a little bit.

We all want our sports heroes to be decent human beings. We don't want to believe that the person whose jersey we bought murdered several people, or killed a bunch of dogs, or beat their fiancees, but so many male athletes are all "business" about everything that we never really get to see anything other than the athlete. With the women's game, they're sort of selling themselves. The reason I came to love the USWNT was not because they're great (although that is part of it, for sure). It's also that they seem so cool. They seem so close. They approach the game seriously, but they also clearly have fun with it too. It's often less about the individuals and more about the greater team, something we always want to see in team sports.

There's also just something about being at a women's sporting event that seems to connect the fans a bit more. I don't want to say that men's sports are not fun. I believe quite the opposite. I don't even care about baseball, but I would always go to a baseball game in person because they are very fun. It's usually a great atmosphere. Yet there is something a bit more exciting about being part of a smaller crowd. Sitting in the nosebleeds with tens of thousands of other people for far over-priced tickets can actually make one feel a bit more removed from the action.

To be clear here, I do hope that the women's game grows to similar points. Tens of thousands in attendance for a NWSL game would be awesome! It would be so meaningful and exciting. That might admittedly be a part of what makes being a women's sports fan so fun. Personally, I feel more important as a fan. Sure, I don't ultimately make that much of a difference, but I definitely feel more like I'm helping by being there and buying tickets and all. So as it grows, it feels a bit like I helped it grow in some small way. I can't imagine ever feeling that way about going to an NFL game or NBA game.

However, these smaller crowds do actually help feel more a part of the "fan community." There's always a good seat, close to the action. You're surrounded by people who are in the same boat as you. It feels a bit like you're all in on a big secret that you want everyone to hear about, but weirdly no one seems to know of. But then also, it really just feels like a more fun, casual atmosphere.

A lot gets made about the fact that women's sports tend to draw families and kids especially. Somehow, this is a knock on the sport. I guess "real sports" draw mostly adult audiences. This seems a bit flawed though. Shouldn't "going to the game" be a family activity? Isn't going to the game with your mom or dad supposed to be a quintessential childhood experience? Aren't athletes role models to children? Here in New England, two tickets to a Patriots game will cost you over $200, especially with parking and anything you might buy in stadium. Shouldn't attending games be a more accessible experience?

In all, I think the reaction to Laura Bassett's horrible, terrifying error is something we should bring back to the men's game. Why shouldn't we empathize with men? They're humans too, and it's highly unlikely he who makes game-costing mistakes doesn't fully understand their impact. It's not to say, "stop being critical." Criticism and scrutiny are totally fine. A cool element to this year's Women's World Cup has been the fact that more people than ever have been criticizing the USWNT's play and coaching. For the first time that I can remember, the focus has been on actual, technical soccer. This seems like a small thing, but it's actually huge for the women's game. It means it's being taken seriously by fans. Just look at how many reporters have been covering the event here in 2015, then consider that in the early to mid 1990s, there were about two sports writers from the US covering the same event. That's pretty clear progress.

It's another thing entirely to become hostile and mean. Bostonians ought to be ashamed of the way they treated Buckner. There's a pretty ugly history of "fans" becoming monsters. Is that really what we want sports to be about? Isn't part of being a "fan" being supportive? Yes, it sucks to lose games on critical errors. But we so often forget that these are humans trying their best. We as fans have significantly less to gain or lose in a victory or loss than the athletes.

Basically, there's something wrong if we're complaining about the fact that an athlete was sent flowers as an act of compassionate support instead of death threats anonymously online for making a critical in-game error. We shouldn't be trying to mold the women's game to be more like the men's in this case. It's the other way around. We need to bring the compassion and empathy from the women's game to the men's game.

For me, when people ask why I sometimes prefer the women's game, it ultimately comes down to this: women's sports seem to be much more in the spirit of sports than the men's. The latter often takes itself way too seriously, and in some cases is too big for its own good. But when I watch women's teams - especially women's soccer - it reminds me of the experience I wanted when I was younger and playing sports.

Sports are supposed to be fun and entertaining. It's supposed to highlight the highs and lows of the human spirit. We as fans have such a small role in the outcome of games, with the stakes insanely low for us - no matter what some fans want to think.

When I watch or attend a women's soccer game, from the way the players play to the way the fans react, I can't help but think, "Ya know, this is what sports is supposed to be."



Addendum: Oh yeah, Andy Benoit is totally right. There's nothing worthwhile about women's soccer...


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