The other day at work, a bunch of us were talking about what we typically listen to during a break up. We threw some of the classics around, of course. Bright Eyes or Elliott Smith or The Cure. Then we started talking about making our own break up mix CDs. So, I figured I'd try my hand. There aren't really any rules other than that it has to fit onto one CD (so about 16-19 songs), but I figured for mine, I would try and build it entirely out of songs on my iTunes library. End result: songs that I would have normally included didn't make it because I don't actually have them. I know it's the internet age and downloading songs is easier than ever; I just wanted to come up with a playlist that I could slap together really quickly on my phone if ever I were in a break up and needed sad tunes.
Except I kind of screwed that up, actually. What I wound up with wasn't exactly a mix CD comprised of sad tunes to consume when feeling like continuing that downward spiral. Apparently, I really like trying to use a playlist to "tell a story," of sorts. What I wound up creating was a mix CD in three parts. Part I (tracks 1 through 8) speak of the early days of the break up. They're sad and dreary and very emotional. Most of "the feels" are in that section.
But Part II (tracks 9 through 14) tell of a different part of the break up. In this section, there's still some lingering sadness, but there's also a developing bitterness. Anger starts to take root here. As that happens, the individual's self-assurance starts to grow out of that as well. This is essentially the "I'm sad, but fuck you and it's your loss!" phase of the break up. Clearly, it's still negatively impacting the person, but something positive is starting to emerge from the flames of the dead relationship. This section transitions pretty quickly from, "I'm so lonely!" to "What even happened? Give me answers!" to "Hey! Fuck you!" to "Ya know what? I'm awesome, and I'm gonna come out of this even better!"
Part III (tracks 15 through 17) might be the shortest, but probably because it's the least interesting. However, it is the most important part. This is where the anger has subsided and the hurt feelings start to dissipate. These songs focus a bit on more melancholic emotions. At this point, the character represented by the playlist can reflect and recognize that, ya know what? They probably weren't that good of a match anyway. Relationships fizzle out and change too. This is probably for the best. And there's still residual sadness, but instead of anger, there's a more mature reaction. Though there's still some pain seeded in there, enough time has passed that they can look back and take away the positives. Their relationship wasn't pointless just because it ended, nor was it inherently terrible. There were many positive moments, and while the characters probably don't speak much anymore, they probably do both have fond memories of each other.
I'm not totally sure if any of that even gets across, but I think that's what I was going for. I don't know, I make weird mix CDs.
One thing that's kind of interesting that I noticed was that when you look at Part I - the "woe is me, I'm so miserable and sad and I'm going to make everyone around me feel miserable and sad" part - is almost entirely male vocalists (sans that one Enya song, although The Weepies do have a woman splitting vocals on most of their stuff). Conversely, Part II - the "I'm confused and hurt and angry, and also fuck you; I'm awesome and just going to get more awesome after this" part - is almost entirely female vocalists (except that one Foals song). The last part is only three songs, one of which is a male and female vocalist together, but it's not enough to really notice a trend.
Now, I don't really know what that means, exactly. Do I just find men whinier than women? Do women strike me as angrier? I honestly have no idea. There was literally no conscientious thought process to that. I only noticed it when I was examining it at the end.
So, here's the list:
Part I - The Early Hours
1. "Lose You" - pete yorn
2. "Consequence" - the notwist
3. "Come Around" - rhett miller
4. "The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us!" - sufjan stevens
5. "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" - colin hay
6. "The World Spins Madly On" - the weepies
7. "Obstacles" - syd matters
8. "Only Time" - enya
Part II - The Storm
9. "Spanish Sahara" - foals
10. "Dancing On My Own" - robyn
11. "How Come You Don't Want Me" - tegan & sara
12. "I Love It" - icona pop
13. "A Better Son/Daughter" - rilo kiley
14. "In My Mind" - amanda palmer
Part III - Hindsight
15. "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" - stars
16. "Heartbeats" - jose gonzalez
17. "The Trapeze Swinger" - iron & win
So now, if I do this right, you can listen to a YouTube playlist below, in sequential order.
And that's that! What would your playlist be?
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